Altoona again…

So here it’s Labor Day weekend and again I’m in Altoona. There’s still some unfinished business that needs to be completed. I’ve made the journey again so that I could help out. Next weekend is when the true adventure begins because that’s when I get to take the train.

I hope to relax a little this weekend and not be too depressed. Time will heal all wounds they say… I guess I will find out.

Well have a great night… Tomorrow I want to discuss Big Brother!


A Night Out!

I finally took a night and went out with my good friend Erika. She is a fashion blogger for and she took me to a launch of a new fashion channel coming to Philly. It was at a bar called Fire & Ice. It was a cool club with good food. I got a couple Carmel Appletinis and they were delicious.

The host of the bar was a guy named Brian. He was quite funny. He told some inappropriate jokes which are not appropriate to put on this blog. LoL I think we are going to make it a weekly or a biweekly trip there, it was really fun.

I’m so glad that I finally got out of the house. I did come back however to make some margarita cupcakes. I can’t wait to see how they come out!

Have a good night.


I think I’ve lost my mind…

Wow… sorry folks it seems like I’ve been slacking lately. I understand why but I feel like I must apologize anyways. Yesterday was very emotional. I came back to work for the first time since the passing of my father and it was quite something. Most of my department was coming up to me, talking about my loss and expressing their deepest sympathy and condolences. I truly appreciated it but at one point it got to be too much.  I had to break away and go outside, I sat down at a table outside my office window and just cried. I couldn’t hold it back anymore at that point. I know I should be working, yet I can’t seem to focus. I’m worried and scared for my mother. Is she going to like Colorado?  Will she really get a piece of the property there for herself?  I guess this blog is more of an outlet for me. It helps me get things off my chest. It’s not here to sell anything, or to be anything special. I know you are reading it out of curiosity of who I am and what I’m about… if that wasn’t the case then there would have been comments posted about my loss, yet there isn’t anything. This space is just what it is… space for me to get the thoughts out of my head.

I know I have to get back to writing soon. I really need to finish Reality Shift this year… I’ve had great momentum with the other stories, I just need to finish. Once I’m done I will be dedicating it to my dad.

Well I got to go for now…

Have a great day.


Sorry for the Delay

I totally forgot to write a post last night. I got home from Altoona around 1 in the afternoon with all the events if the week weighing heavily on my mind. I got home, loved up my kitties, took a shower and then grabbed a quick nap while waiting for my love to show up. He eventually got there around 4:30. It was nice to have him around and it’s a good distraction yet I’m still sad.

Today we awoke, went to Starbucks and then to the outlets. I’m still thinking of everything from the week and quite down. When will I get back to normal?

I’m trying to do things to distract me but it’s not helping.

I hope everyone has a great day.


Sadness sets in…

The days are getting longer and sadder… My emotions are raw and I’m hiding them from my mother the best I can. I’m trying to stay strong yet when I’m alone I’m so sad. I start to cry. I watched TV tonight with my mother, as I watching I was also watching her. She sat there with this sadness on her face, it hurt me to see her like this. I know it will be better with time but I wish I had a way to fast forward and see her happy again. She’s going to move with my sister in Colorado in a few weeks and I’m not sure I’m a 100% behind it. I originally thought it was a good idea now I’m second guessing myself. I know it’s what best… But now I’m being selfish and don’t want her to go because we will be so far apart.

When I lived in Michigan I was 6 hours away, at least it was still drivable. Now CO is 30 hours away from my current living arrangements. I would have to fly out anytime that I wanted to see her. I know with modern technology I could talk to her with FaceTime or Skype but it’s not the same as sitting next to her or getting a hug. I’m really going to miss her but this is her life now, I have to respect her life choices.

Well I hope it gets better, soon.

Have a great night.


Getting Harder

So it’s been 5 days. I thought it would start to get easier but it isn’t yet. My mother made a dramatic choice this week. She has decided that she wants to move to Colorado to live with her daughter,her husband, and two grandchildren. The hard part is that they want to do it over the next two weeks… What?!?!

I’m not sure I’m ready or can handle this. I already lived 200 miles away now I’m going to be living 1670 miles away from my mother. That’s quite a distance… I was usually seeing my family 3 or 4 times a year… Now most likely will only be once a year, I can’t afford to be going out too many times. I just hope that this is the right choice.

Well I’m mentally exhausted this week and it’s not over yet.

Have a good night and I hope you all have a great day tomorrow.