So last night I was out shoveling the snow that we received during the day when all of the sudden I had a flashback to an instance that happened in my life during the years of 1999-2002. During that time period I was living outside of Detroit and was dating a guy, let’s call him Richard to save his identity, and some profound things happened. The flashback in general was about the night we were at a party for one of his managers who happened to be gay as well. The party was filled with cute guys, some of which worked for the store at the time called Structure. Richard was a partier from way back and the fact that he was 14 years older than me and was always telling me what to do. He had a very jealous nature about him as well. I would later discover what that was all about. Anyhow this particular flashback was about that night and how I purposely drove my car into a snow bank in the parking lot of where the party was happening. You see Richard had started a fight with me on the way to the car. He claimed that I was hitting on the one guy that he worked at the store with, which wasn’t true. I was young and naïve and as far as I knew totally in love with Richard. He continued this rant about the way I looked at him and such. He got in my face and I brushed him off. That wasn’t good enough because the next thing I knew I was eating snow.
He had pushed me down to the ground and into a snow pile. I must have hit a patch of ice because I had cut my cheek under my right eye, which by the way was just starting to look normal again after it was blacken a few weeks prior. I was pissed. I wasn’t fighter so I just got up and went to the car. He got in and continued to berate me about the night and tug at my jacket and such. Kept on me and on me about it and not even caring about what had happened to my face. I was bleeding but he didn’t care. I couldn’t take it anymore and I drove up into the snow bank causing the car to get stuck.
My cell phone wasn’t working properly so I went back to the party… Once they saw my face they asked what had happen. I tried to say that I fell, but they weren’t buying it. They knew exactly what had happened. The boy who I was accused of flirting with actual took me into the bathroom and tended to my wound. I heard that Richard had came in but they escorted him outside to wait for the tow truck to get the car unstuck. The boy was very sweet though, even though I wasn’t into him like I guess I should have been, I might have missed the boat with that one. Well that doesn’t matter now, but I do wonder where he is and what he’s done with his life. Maybe someday I’ll find out what happened to my hero from that night.
Richard’s abuse that night wasn’t the first and wasn’t the last, I’m not ready to dive into all of that with you right now. Maybe another day. I just wanted to share how an act of doing something can trigger the mind.
Please have a great day!
So I found myself waking up in a cold sweat this morning as I recalled the dream that I was having. In August of 2013 I lost my father due to a severe heart attack. The weeks after that were very difficult for me and my family as my mother made some rather large decisions right away.
In my dream last night it was more like reliving that loss and those weeks. I found myself once more packing up a huge rental truck with all of my mother’s things and arguing with my siblings about what we should be taking and what should be left behind. In the dream though my sister and her husband were actually present so the arguments were extremely intensified. I was very upset by the fact that they just wanted to argue every little thing that was going on. I felt like I was getting screwed over somehow. In reality I did drive the truck cross country as you can see in my journey from my earlier posts but this time in the dream it was different.
I wasn’t actually living in my area outside of Philly, but in Idaho… which is weird because I’ve never been there or know anyone from Idaho. This is also the second time that I’ve dreamed about living another life in another state than what I’m living now so I have no clue what this means.
Why would I relive the events of this past summer?
Why am I dreaming of a state that I have no connection to?
Why am I dreaming about another life that’s quite different from the one I’m living now?
Well I hope you all have a good day and if you are being battered by a snow storm like we are, please be safe.
As I approach another year older it astonishes me how time just keeps going. Nothing is slowing down no matter how hard I wish it would. The year of 33 has been quite a ride. I fell in love with the person of my dreams, we spent a week going on mini adventures, I lost my father and then went on a cross country road trip to Colorado. My brother came to visit twice for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. It was a great time.
I’m still working on finishing my first novel, 25 pages of editing to go. I know that this is the year. I can feel it. I’ve released over 20 short stories to the kindle. I’m not rolling in the cash like I thought I would. Oh well. I’m stilling doing my day job of training people and love it; even though I was told recently that I tend to smile too much.
I’m hoping that the year of 34 will be better. Actually I know it will be because I control it.
Have a great night everyone.
So as a writer I find myself getting bored easily with the same subject matter over and over. I like to stay diversed and shake things up a bit. 2 weeks ago a story idea came to me via the way of one of my fellow bowling partners. She’s an older woman, easily in her 60s, and she noticed a particular couple bowling next to us at the bowling alley. She challanged me to create a story with those two as a focus, and I did just that. I named the characters and wrote an erotic tale about them. It started off sweet and innocent, nothing to vulger, but then something in me changed and it became downright filthy. Once the story was over I shared it with a few female friends and they loved it. It was a simple 3 page short story with 1 sexual experience. I thought about stopping there, but I couldn’t. I decided to make it an ongoing series. I just finished the second story which took placed directly after the first. I made it longer, and even more erotic than the first. I feel ashamed but at the same time I wonder if I found my niche. I’ve tried so many different generes, is this the one for me? I don’t know. I know I have to switch back to my novel soon to finish it. It does have some gay erotica in it, and now that I’ve experimented with straight erotica, the gay scenes might have to become a little filthier. If you are curious about the stories, you can find them in the Amazon Kindle market place. The first one is called, The 8lb ball and the second which will be published later today is called, Anna Gets Plowed.
I hope you have a good night.