Beyond the Grave… Is Dad trying to tell me something?

So over the past couple of weeks I have been having some odd dreams. They all seem to have a common theme… my dead father.

In about 11 days it will mark the 1 year anniversary of his passing, he would have been 73 this year.

I think the odd part of this started back when I went camping 3 weeks ago. I went back to the last place that I saw him alive. One of his favorite places to visit, Greenwood Furnace State Park. Last year my family started a new tradition of having a family reunion at the park. We had it last July, and it was the last time I saw my dad still alive.

This year I decided to spend the week prior to the event at the park to get my emotions in control. On the second day of my trip, I thought I saw my dad sitting on a bench. There was this man sitting there dressed just like my dad. He had on jeans, a baggy blue t-shirt with a pocket, which appeared to have a pack of cigarettes in it, along with a ball cap. I took a second look and then snapped a picture. I returned to what I was doing and started to cry. I finally let my emotions go while at that place of great memories.

The first dream was taking place during a snow storm and my parents were visiting. We had to walk to the store and he asked my very peculiar question: “Can we get that soda that I like from the movies?” ” Cherry 7-Up?” I asked… and he replied yes.

Now I don’t know if he actually enjoyed cherry 7-up or not, that’s a question I need to ask my mother but it was odd.

The second dream came on Sunday night into Monday morning. I wasn’t feeling well and I haven’t for a few days now. He appeared to me again. This time I was in my military uniform which I haven’t worn in over 15 years and he didn’t say anything. He kept pointing at his side, which was the side that I was having an issue with.

It freaked me out so I went to the doctors office on Monday and again on Tuesday. I still don’t know what exactly is wrong with me but I feel like Dad is trying to send me a message of some sort. I’m hoping to get the test results soon and have another appointment scheduled for Friday. I hope it isn’t anything serious and if it is maybe because of dad I caught it in time.

I keep you posted… oh and if anyone can interpret these dreams, please let me know.

Have a great night…

~ Rob

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Love and other randomness

So today is Friday, more specifically it’s pay day Friday which makes it even better. I’m always excited for Friday to arrive, more now than ever. See I used to work a second job for Target and it took most of my weekends away. I hated that, but I couldn’t be over pissed about it because I’m the one that choose to work there part time.  Since I’ve left that job back in February/March I find that I enjoy having my weekends free. Which in part gives me more free time to spend with others.

Love though is a fickle beast in itself. There are times that you think you have mastered it, and that you have everything you ever wanted but then sometimes not everyone agrees with you.  You think you are on the right page, gearing towards something great but then a curve ball comes out of no where.  Some times the words that you don’t want to hear are: I think we need to talk or I don’t think we are on the same page.   Either one of these phrases are going to lead to the end, eventually, if not right now. 

When one of these phrases get spoken all kinds of feelings and emotions start to come out. Tons of thoughts and memories start to surface. You start to doubt and question everything that could possibly leading to this.  Is it all one sided, is it all in my head or could there be more to the story than what is being led on. What do you want to do comes into question as well. Do you fight for what you think is love, or are you settling because you don’t want to be alone anymore?  

Does a relationship with someone define you as person or change the person that everyone knows?  Are you different?  Do you want to be who you were if you did change?  

I don’t have the answers. You need to reflect upon that yourself and decide what you want. There once was a song, “Are you better off alone?”  Sometimes being alone/single just might be the safest way of not getting hurt.