I feel lost…

 Over the past month since the passing of my dad, I’ve had a whole array of emotions cycling through me. Anger, sadness, bitterness, happy, and loneliness.  The most recent feeling is the constant feeling of being lost. I feel like my mind has fractured into a thousand tiny teeny pieces and I’m struggling to put them back together.  I’m going home again this weekend to finalize some more minor details and then I should be done. I think once this weekend is complete I will be able to get back to a normal routine, including my running, event planning, social life, movie going and bowling norms.  I’m very lucky that I quit my second job back in February or I wouldn’t even know how this would go.  

I have been able to start thinking about my writing again as well. Just the other night I was able to muster up the courage to write 1600 words into my book, that brings the total word count to 25000. The novel is growing quite nicely and I can’t believe I started it over 6 years ago. It’s going to be quite interesting once it’s finished. I know that every author thinks that they have a good quality book and people will be excited about it, but I truly feel that. I still feel like I’m meant for greatness and success, even with this stumbling block.  I need to stop feeling bad about everything and just get moving. 

Well enough about that.  If you have time check out my Facebook page. I put stuff out there all the time.

Have a great day.




Guess What Day it is….

So yeah, have you heard that commercial yet?  It’s probably one of the better commercials out there for that car insurance company. It really gets in your head, especially on Wednesdays.  I can’t go the whole day without thinking about it, or even having one of my co-workers saying it as well.  I’m glad the middle of the week is here because it’s 2 more days until the weekend!  Woohoo!!!  

At least today started better than yesterday in the fact that there wasn’t any rain or threats of flooding/tornadoes. This was quite the relief for today. It is nice out and it might call for a long run, however I’m still tired from last night. The sleep likes to elude me as I am constantly thinking about my stories and finishing this novel. If I can add enough details and expand the plot to get it to 50000 words I would be happy, I did add another 1000 to it today, but I have a long way to go. I really want to get it done, get it out into the world and really see it take off. There’s something in this world that I feel like I need to prove, even though I already know deep down inside that I don’t. 

I hope your today went well today. I think a run is in my immediate future.

Have a great night,



Thoughts for Tuesday

So it’s Tuesday night… I’m laying in bed as wondering what tomorrow will bring as I reflect on the day that was. The Phillies finally broke their losing streak which was nice, even though their closer almost blew it… Again. I wasn’t watching it live but I’m sure it was intense.

I’m trying to promote my stories and it’s hard work, I know for any type of true advertising I’m going to have to she’ll out some cash, which I truly don’t have right now. I really would love for my writing career to take off so that I could enjoy life a little more. Living paycheck to paycheck sucks and unless I win the Powerball tomorrow night I think I will be stuck in this rut for at least the next two months or so. I’ve sold a lot of things on eBay over the past six months in order to get by. I’ve even cashed out my Target 401k money instead of rolling it over into my IRA so that I could pay some bills.

I did apply for my first grant from a site called Awesome Projects. I’m hoping I get selected so I could actually seek out an editor and illustrator for my stories. My Insect Tales stories would make a great children’s series or even a cartoon/comic if I could just fund the project.

My other book, Reality Shift, is about done but again it needs an editor. I’ve emailed to a colleague at work today who is going to read it and share her thoughts. I’ve never done that before with this story so I’m really nervous. I feel like it can stand on it’s own accord, but I still could add more The proof copy is on the way so if I make changes it’s going to delay the process even longer. I’ve been working on this for over 6 years now and I’m ready to share it with the world. I do have ideas for another book in the same series if this one works out.

I also want to finish some of my other stories that I’ve been working on but it’s difficult with a full time job. I can’t let my writing interfere with that. I do jot things down when inspiration strikes but I don’t dwell on it to much. I’m starting to create a vision wall in my home office of things I would like to accomplish. Part of that wall has my dreams for winning the lottery but some has to do with my stories. I’m praying and working on clearing my debt soon so that I have a better cash flow, then I can set some aside for advertising and such… If the stories are successful then the advertising will pay for itself.

The wall could also become a place to map out future stories, character backgrounds and such of that nature. There are so many stories floating around in my head that need to be told. I’m hoping someday I get to share all of them with the world.

I keep tweeting things on twitter… I’m getting some followers but most are the same that are following everyone else… Are they even noticing what I’m doing? I’m a real person… I’m not using any sort of programs… I need to start asking them more questions like I did the one person.

Well it was another long day… Back at it again tomorrow. I will spend some of my time in the classroom with a few breaks. I hope my new hires are ok with seeing me most of the day instead of all the guest speakers I’ve scheduled lately

Good night